Tales From The Locker Room

by The Jung Ones

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Fawlty Tenements And now for something completely diffident... You can stuff yer roads and telly and SNPs We got Theresa May and John Cleese We're proud of our nationalism but not yours We love Lizzie, Charlie and Ed Baws Know your place - in your fawlty tenements Shut your face - we know what's good for you Just in case you ungrateful cunts Throw disgrace on our pleasant land of blue Half man, half educated Reviled, uncouth and hated It's amazing you have the wherewithal To eke out a life at all Wing Commander Ruth believes Those chippy Scots are a bunch of thieves Time to re-instate that national anthem verse About those rebellious Scots to crush And did those feet in ancient times do a silly walk?
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Theresa! 01:46
Theresa! Lock up your daughters Lock up your sons Lock up your dalmations You had 99 problems and that's pretty bad, son But now you've got over 101 Theresa! Your human rights Are in her sights She May be wrong, She May be right You had 99 problems with David Cameron Now you're locked in room 101 Theresa! Trees are green, trees are brown Trees emerge from underground Theresa may be trees from the Wizard of Oz Grabby, grabby, grabby and poisonous Theresa!
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Eat Y'Self Twitter Embedded Image Permalink Embedded Image Permalink Embedded Image Permalink Embedded Image Permalink Oh remember when twitter fell (Embedded Image Permalink) You had to talk to people, well...(Embedded Image Permalink) Telegram from 1999 (Embedded Image Permalink) We're having a fantastic time (Embedded Image Permalink) Embedded Image Permalink Embedded Image Permalink I think the computers have won (What's a computer? What's a computer?) Going back to 1951 (What's a computer? What's a computer?) The world is black and white again (What's a computer? What's a computer?) Here's your paper, here's your pen (What's a computer? What's a computer?) Eat y'self twitter Eat y'self twitter Eat y'self twitter Eat y'self twitter Productivity is down Ruby's with her love in town Do you remember Gordon Brown or the first minister's dressing gown?
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The Burly Men Of Annan Well, my thirst to exercise my democratic right has been thwarted My local polling station is under intimidation I am taunted By shadowy figures And threatening liggers called Eric and Steven and Darren Otherwise known around these parts as the burly men of Annan Well I have to confess I was in a right mess I was anxious and fractious and fearful They shot me a glance I near wet my pants I was shaking and quaking and tearful Oh those shadowy figures And threatening liggers called Eric and Steven and Darren Otherwise known around these parts as the burly men of Annan I phoned my friend Ruth to tell her the truth so she could alert the nation She fired off a tweet to the cyber elite warning of the infestation I wiz worried aw jings But Ruthy said things could only get better together vote early avoiding those burly men in their Arran sweaters the gates were wrought iron not pearly their overall demeanour was surly chewing on a curly wurly those Annan men ever so burly In this land of sticks and carrots We're opening up the postal ballots With a crowbar, cos we can I'm the surly burly man.
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KKKaye Took My Radio Away Don't call don't call Kaye Radio Scotland She went away from the Adams family Said she's gonna be a DJ And she nearly got there She nearly got there She nearly got there, they say Don't Call Kaye The brain decay will set in almost straightaway And it's your money The licence fee Paying for the BBC KKKaye took my radio away She took it away Away from me KKKaye took my radio away She took it away She took my radio from me Ringing ringing ringing Up the Call Kaye show To tell her exactly where to go She played my macaroni song For 30 seconds flat And then said That's enough of that Yeah, yeah, yeah o o o o o o o o o o o o We want the airwaves That's right, that's right We want the airwaves Turn off that shite We want the airwaves (KKKaye took my radio away) That's right, that's right We want the airwaves (KKKaye took my radio away) Turn off that shite
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Corbynmania 02:17
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PROJECT FARCE Don't come round here, Don't come round here, We've done away with Project Fear We've moved on to Project Farce Boris Johnson - what an arse The cunt, the cunt, the country Is rudderless and all at sea The Labour Party's not been idle They've gone all mass suicidal There's no Plan A, There's no Plan B, There's no Plan C, There's no Plan D, There's no Plan E, There's no Plan F, They're speechless, blind and fucking deaf Don't come round here, Don't come round here, We've done away with Project Fear We've moved on to Project Farce Boris Johnson - arse!
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Chilcot 03:09
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Disnaeland 02:38
Disnae Land He disnae like papers He disnae like news He disnae like points He disnae like views He disnae like this He disnae like that He disnae like dogs He disnae like cats Welcome to disnae land tickets are free welcome to disnae land come and join me He disnae like you He disnae like me He disnae like coffee He disnae like tea He disnae like black He disnae like white He disnae like wrong He disnae like right Welcome to disnae land tickets are free welcome to disnae land come and join me He disnae like disco He disnae like soul He disnae like rock He disnae like roll He disnae like guns He disnae like tasers He disnae like handcuffs He disnae like lasers Welcome to disnae land tickets are free welcome to disnae land come and join me He disnae like TVs He disnae like phones He disnae like muslims He disnae like drones He disnae like her He disnae like him He disnae like happy He disnae like grim He disnae like land He disnae like air He disnae like sea and he disnae fucking care
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The Mumbling Song Underground, overground, mumbling free The mumbles of Alistair Darling are we Better together without Frankie Boyle Feel Kim Jong-il in the blood and the soil Uncle Eck Salmond, oh, he can remember the days When he wasn't in the Times Or News of the World Pick up the papers and take them to the lavatory Mumbles are organised, work as a team Mumbles are messy and often obscene In the New Statesman we're mumbling free The mumbles of Alistair Darling are we People don't notice us, they never hear Inaudible mumbles right into their ear Mumble by night and we mumble by day Looking for libels to trundle away We're so incredibly utterly devious Making the most of everything Even old Vlad Putin Pick up the faeces and spin them into something new It's what we do Underground, overground, mumbling free The mumbles of Alistair Darling are we Better together without Frankie Boyle Feel Kim Jong-il in the blood and the soil Inaudible mumble (Blood and soil, Kim Jong-il) Inaudible mumble (Blood and soil, Kim Jong-il) Remember member member what an inaudible mumble you are
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Noel Edmonds' Cancer Box It's No.1 It's Top of the Pops It's Noel Edmonds' Cancer Box There's a man with a plan And a helicopter and a gunge tank He's mistra Noel He's not weird, and his beard In some circles is still revered He's mistra Noel Deal or no deal's just a hobby He's gonna bring back Mr Blobby The apocalypse is zooming in But never mind, here's Keith Chegwin And who is that he's got with him? Bloody hell, Maggie Philbin Oh oh oh oh oh oh Accentuate the positive Exterminate the negative He's mistra Noel Call the banker, call swap shop It's Noel Edmonds' Cancer Box He's mistra Noel
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AW FUCK IT'S ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER He loves his ermine, he loves his throne He's got more front than Michelle Mone And that woman from The Apprentice whose name escapes me You won't believe him All you will see is a bullfrog that smirks Although he's trussed up like a lord George Osborne gives him the horn George called him over and told him to vote Keep your heel on Les Miserables throat With a swish of his cloak, he did what he was told He's worth millions Even Ben Elton has sucked from his teet The middle class elite lap it up What is the point of this cunt? Aw fuck it's Andrew Lloyd Webber The twat with the melted wax coupon He does ma nut in, his mere existence Frightens the children, just keep yer distance Aw fuck it's Andrew Lloyd Webber... These posh cunts all stick together

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released October 11, 2016

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